Tuesday 28 August 2012

Report Writing (Published in 'The Statesman' on 22/08/12)

After the grand success of the reports on 2G and coal scams, the comptroller and auditor-general (CAG) of India has decided to come up with a series of reports estimating losses to the exchequer caused by government policy decisions since Independence.

Three reports by the CAG that were recently tabled in Parliament pegged the total loss to the exchequer at close to Rs 220,000 crore. This triggered considerable outrage. However, the UPA government also earned admiration from some quarters for exceeding the already high standards it had set for itself by crossing the seemingly insurmountable figure of Rs 176,000 crore achieved in the 2G scam.

Speaking exclusively to Jest Kidding, the CAG said: “It is heartening to see the response to my reports. It has been overwhelming. I feel it would be an exciting exercise to regularly collate similar reports enumerating presumptive losses running to several thousand crores. The ultimate aim would be to come up with a comprehensive master report that would estimate the loss to the exchequer caused by corruption since Independence. I wouldn’t be surprised if the total notional loss exceeds the GDP of many big developing countries.” Along expected lines, Union minister Mr Kapil Sibal dismissed these figures by invoking the complex, ingenious zero-loss theory that he had formulated many months ago.

In other news, the Union power ministry has decided to advance the process of integrating the southern grid with the national grid to January 2014. The integration was earlier planned for December 2014. Jest Kidding has learnt that the decision was precipitated by the recent grid collapse that plunged large parts of north and east India into darkness as experts have pointed out that apart from strictly enforced grid discipline, the fact that the southern grid was not connected with the rest saved it from a blackout.
“Had the grid been integrated earlier, we could have well experienced the spectacle of the entire country being affected at the same time. It would have been a massive show of strength and solidarity. The southern region missed all the excitement. So, we want to make amends now,” said Union minister for power and corporate affairs Mr M Veerappa Moily who did not wish to be named.

In another development, a journalist has accused the Indian-American journalist and author Fareed Zakaria of committing another act of plagiarism. The journalist wrote in a blog that the words Zakaria used to apologise for purported plagiarism had been lifted verbatim from a similar confession made by another author some months ago. But Zakaria vehemently denied the charge.

Link: http://www.thestatesman.net/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=420785&catid=39

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