Tuesday 16 October 2012

Shop talk (Published in 'The Statesman' on 17/10/12)

The disgruntled former chief minister of Karnataka Mr BS Yeddyurappa recently declared that he intended to form his own political outfit in December. Jest Kidding talked to sources close to the leader to find out more about the party. We have been told that the new party would be named BJP(Y) ~ Bharatiya Jokers’ Party (Yeddyurappa). We have learnt that the party would be unfettered of ideology, vision or any cause. The party is being formed with the sole objective of providing unadulterated entertainment to the Indian public. This, it is said, would be accomplished by handpicking leaders from across the political spectrum. “The membership of the party would be strictly by invitation. To be considered for membership, one should have ‘proven capability for dimwitted comments’. Yeddyurappaji will personally select the members,” the source said.

Naturally, Mr Yeddyurappa is planning to extend the first invitation to Mr Digvijay Singh of the Congress party. It is learnt that Mr Digvijay Singh would be requested to be the president of the party. It is also said that Mr Yeddyurappa is closely following developments on the national political scene to identify potential members. Apparently, the former CM is quite satisfied with the turn of events over the last several days as it has helped him identify several deserving candidates. It is widely believed that Mr Robert Vadra would definitely get an invitation for his “mango people in banana republic” comment. Another person sure to be invited to join the party is Union steel minister Mr Beni Prasad Verma who has a solid track record. After justifying price rise, the minister had recently remarked that a person like Mr Salman Khurshid was unlikely to indulge in any wrongdoing for a paltry sum of Rs 71 lakh as the amount was too small for a Central minister to be bothered about. “Shri Verma would be an ideal member. We want people like him with established credentials,” said an aide of Mr Yeddyurappa.

There is also popular demand for considering the West Bengal chief minister for membership as her ability to inspire hilarity has been proven time and again. True to her reputation, the leader recently attributed the increase in the number of rape cases to men and women interacting more freely with each other. However, there was widespread relief and also disbelief that she did not blame the spurt in rape on Maoists. It is anticipated that Mr Om Prakash Chautala would also receive an invitation for his recent statement endorsing the stand of khap panchayats to reduce the marriageable age of boys and girls to 16 to curb incidents of sexual assault.

Jest Kidding contacted Mr Digvijay Singh to congratulate him on being offered the role of ‘party president’. But Mr Singh was not in a celebratory mood. He was extremely upset with the recent developments as several people are seriously threatening his reputation as the ‘Foot in mouth’ king with their ridiculous comments. Venting his frustration, Mr Singh said: “I strongly condemn the statement made by Om Prakash Chautala. Chautala should be forcefully made to marry Robert Vadra to prevent his thoughts from straying.” Asked about Miss Mamata Banerjee’s recent statement, Mr Singh scoffed: “I do not know if rapes have increased because of men and women interacting freely. But I know for sure that hilarity has increased because of Didi talking freely.”

Link: http://www.thestatesman.net/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=427068&catid=39

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