Thursday, 4 August 2011

President Pratibha Patil to wear necktie on official occasions


Our sources tell us that president Pratibha Patil will soon wear necktie during official occasions like the visit of foreign dignitaries. This will be in addition to the full sleeve shirt that she wears regularly. The official in the President's office, who wished not to be named - by his parents, said sufficient care would also be taken to ensure that she doesn't get lost in her sari. "This was a major problem during the visit of US president Barack Obama last year. Mrs.Patil was constantly getting lost in her sari as it was not only long enough to cover her fully but sufficient to accommodate even Mrs.Michelle Obama. It was a big task to spot the lost president every time. Now we have taken cognisance of this and necessary action would be taken.", he said.

Mr.Daniel Dummy - the personal secretary to the president said: "President Patil is very keen about spending her time productively. When she is not on diplomatic visit to countries like Antigua and Barbuda, Andorra, Palau, she takes great interest in teaching. She gives lectures on effective public speaking in different universities. Even Mr.Obama was amazed at Mrs.Pratibha Patil's ability to address even a 10000 strong gathering by reading straight from the paper with utmost ease without even the slightest modulation, not even raising her head to look at the audience. Mr.Obama also expressed his interest in learning oratory skills from Mrs.Patil and the latter has gracefully consented."

When a reporter - Shruthi asked Mr.Daniel Dummy whether the president would take any decision on the mercy petition of Afzal Guru (and other criminals on death row whose pleas are pending before the president), he gave a philosophical answer: "Presidents come and go but mercy petitions live forever." When questioned about the view of the president on a host of issues like 2G scam, Adarsh scam, CWG scam, Lokpal bill, Anna Hazare’s protest etc, the official said that the president is busy with a book that she is writing by the name ‘Rashtrapati Bhavan for dummies’ and would learn about all these issues after she is done with it.

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