Wednesday, 11 January 2012

Spice of life - My column 'Jest Kidding' for 'The Statesman' on 04/01/12

To add spice to the already interesting Indian political scene, reports have surfaced of a romance between a high-profile minister of the ruling party and a leader of the main Opposition party. We have received information from reliable sources that the two have been seeing each other for some time now; romance apparently bloomed while they were waiting in the make-up room of a television studio.

They have been seen together at several parties (not political) enjoying each other’s company. Unconfirmed reports suggest that the leaders can be seen together at the Parliament canteen, on Rashtrapati Bhavan lawns, Pragati Maidan, India gate, Race Course road, Janpath, Connaught Place and the dosa joint near Jantar Mantar. When contacted, Mr Pawan Kumar Bansal, the minister for parliamentary affairs said: “Already there are allegations that our minister for external affairs is stalking a beautiful foreign minister from a neighbouring country. I have been asked to investigate that matter. And now this. Is this what my portfolio is about? Parliamentary affairs? I have heard of this romance. But I cannot confirm its veracity until I probe further. I have seen the Opposition leader blushing whenever the minister speaks in Parliament. I have noticed that the two keep looking at each other often in the House. They smile at each other. But I cannot conclude anything right now. It has to be investigated. If it is true, it cannot be allowed to continue. It’s unhealthy for our democracy. Imagine what would happen if leaders from parties opposed to each other start dating each other? Can there be any meaningful debate or discussion in Parliament?”

Jest Kidding learns that Ram Gopal Verma has decided that his next film (after his film on 26/11 attacks) will be based on this political romance. Like he had done after 26/11, he conducted a recce of Parliament House with Mr Vilasrao Deshmukh. We managed to talk to him outside Parliament House. He said: “I was already quite impressed by the orchestrated drama and choreographed tamasha in the Rajya Sabha a few days ago. Even Prabhu Deva could not have choreographed it better. When I heard about this romance in Parliament, I couldn’t restrain myself. This is like a dream script. The unique thing about this film will be that some real-life politicians will act in it. I have already spoken to quite a few people.”

We have learnt that Mr Lalu Prasad is doing a cameo in the film ~ a stand-up comedy act. Mr Rajniti Prasad from Laluji’s party who tore copies of the Lokpal Bill in the Rajya Sabha, will be the principal provider of light moments in the film. “As his name suggests, Rajniti Prasad is the gift of Indian politics to us,” Verma said with his eyes shining in admiration. Apparently, the character to be essayed by Rajniti suffers from “Acute Papyrus Tearomanic Syndrome”. The script requires him to lose his temper whenever he sees paper. So he keeps tearing newspapers, magazines, tissue paper, A4 sheets, books and the like. There’s also a peppy number composed by Shankar, Ehsaan, Loy in the film, to be picturised on Rajniti Prasad. The song goes thus: “Bill to pagal hai, Bill deewana hai”.

What will the film be titled? Verma is undecided. But he is said to be contemplating one of the following names ~ Sarkar 2, Sarkar Raj 2, Company 2, Rangeela 2 and Mast 2 ~ all of which, he believes, would do justice to the script. One title, though, has been ruled out ~ Satya 2; Verma explained: “You see, it’s a film about politicians, after all.”

'The Statesman' link: http://www.thestatesman.net/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=395673&catid=39

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