Not so long ago, three BJP ministers in Karnataka were caught watching
pornography in the Assembly. Carrying forward their legacy, two MLAs of
BJP in Gujarat are alleged to have indulged themselves similarly. Jest
Kidding has received credible information from unreliable sources that
the party leadership has taken these licentious acts very seriously.
We have learnt that all MLAs and MPs belonging to the party have been summoned to 11, Ashoka Road in the National Capital for a screening of Sunny Leone’s latest blockbuster Midnight fantasies.
A BJP MLA from Madhya Pradesh said: “Our party president, Shri Gadkari ji is greatly upset with the recent developments. He has understood our needs and has arranged for a weekly screening of such films at party headquarters. He has also requested us not to watch such films in the Assembly when journalists are keeping an eye on us. We also passed a unanimous resolution in the meeting condemning the behaviour of the cameramen who covered these incidents in the Assembly and we strongly feel that journalists should not be allowed inside the Assembly.”
Conspicuous by their absence were around 50 BJP MLAs from Karnataka who were attending a separate screening of a cult Jenna Jameson classic organised by Mr Yeddyurappa at a resort on the outskirts of Bangalore. However, when we contacted Mr Yeddyurappa, he denied this saying: “It is wrong to suggest that I am showing them a different film. Whatever the party high command decides, I will screen that. We could not go to New Delhi because we had to discuss the problems of the people and issues in different parts of Karnataka.” Dismissing reports that he was planning to launch his own party with a breakaway faction, he said: “Not at all. Where’s the question of challenging the high command? The party leaders in New Delhi are like kings and queens. I am just a porn. I was porn to serve the people. Pardon my pornunciation. My English is not very good.”
Congress spokesperson Mr Manish Tewari came down heavily on the BJP. This is what he had to say: “The recent developments have exposed the true colours of the self-proclaimed custodians of morality and self-appointed guardians of Indian culture. The BJP party is a pornucopia of vices. They have no right to porntificate about values, ethics, corruption etc.”
We also spoke to Mr Nitin Gadkari. He refused to comment on the scandal or the subsequent screening at the party headquarters. However, he was ready to answer some questions on his personal tastes and preferences. Apparently, he is a movie buff and makes it a point to watch at least one film in a week. He was greatly impressed with Irrfan Khan’s performance in the latest film based on the life of the Armyman-turned-dacoit Porn Singh Tomar. When asked about his favourite film song, he said: “That’s a tough one to answer. But I think Porn Banaras waala from Don would definitely feature among my top three favourites.” As you might have guessed, Mr. Gadkari is a foodie. “I like to start my meal with sweet porn soup. I love shrimp and porn,” he said. When asked how he managed to handle so much pressure as the president of a national party, he turned philosophical. He said: “It is very demanding at times. Sometimes I wish I were not into politics. Sometimes I feel like quitting and doing nothing but watching good films in cinemas and eating a lot of cock porn during intermission.” Mr Gadkari also unveiled the party slogan during the interview. It goes thus: “Grass is green. Congress is mean. We stand for you. Our films are blue.”
We have learnt that all MLAs and MPs belonging to the party have been summoned to 11, Ashoka Road in the National Capital for a screening of Sunny Leone’s latest blockbuster Midnight fantasies.
A BJP MLA from Madhya Pradesh said: “Our party president, Shri Gadkari ji is greatly upset with the recent developments. He has understood our needs and has arranged for a weekly screening of such films at party headquarters. He has also requested us not to watch such films in the Assembly when journalists are keeping an eye on us. We also passed a unanimous resolution in the meeting condemning the behaviour of the cameramen who covered these incidents in the Assembly and we strongly feel that journalists should not be allowed inside the Assembly.”
Conspicuous by their absence were around 50 BJP MLAs from Karnataka who were attending a separate screening of a cult Jenna Jameson classic organised by Mr Yeddyurappa at a resort on the outskirts of Bangalore. However, when we contacted Mr Yeddyurappa, he denied this saying: “It is wrong to suggest that I am showing them a different film. Whatever the party high command decides, I will screen that. We could not go to New Delhi because we had to discuss the problems of the people and issues in different parts of Karnataka.” Dismissing reports that he was planning to launch his own party with a breakaway faction, he said: “Not at all. Where’s the question of challenging the high command? The party leaders in New Delhi are like kings and queens. I am just a porn. I was porn to serve the people. Pardon my pornunciation. My English is not very good.”
Congress spokesperson Mr Manish Tewari came down heavily on the BJP. This is what he had to say: “The recent developments have exposed the true colours of the self-proclaimed custodians of morality and self-appointed guardians of Indian culture. The BJP party is a pornucopia of vices. They have no right to porntificate about values, ethics, corruption etc.”
We also spoke to Mr Nitin Gadkari. He refused to comment on the scandal or the subsequent screening at the party headquarters. However, he was ready to answer some questions on his personal tastes and preferences. Apparently, he is a movie buff and makes it a point to watch at least one film in a week. He was greatly impressed with Irrfan Khan’s performance in the latest film based on the life of the Armyman-turned-dacoit Porn Singh Tomar. When asked about his favourite film song, he said: “That’s a tough one to answer. But I think Porn Banaras waala from Don would definitely feature among my top three favourites.” As you might have guessed, Mr. Gadkari is a foodie. “I like to start my meal with sweet porn soup. I love shrimp and porn,” he said. When asked how he managed to handle so much pressure as the president of a national party, he turned philosophical. He said: “It is very demanding at times. Sometimes I wish I were not into politics. Sometimes I feel like quitting and doing nothing but watching good films in cinemas and eating a lot of cock porn during intermission.” Mr Gadkari also unveiled the party slogan during the interview. It goes thus: “Grass is green. Congress is mean. We stand for you. Our films are blue.”
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