A well known British scientist and inventor who has dedicated his
life to research on time travel, claims to have successfully designed a
time machine. The machine, according to the scientist, can take people
into the future by up to 50 years. Naturally, this claim has generated a
great deal of interest around the world. The scientist, who is
currently in India, addressed a Press conference in New Delhi yesterday.
He made the startling claim that he had travelled 25 years into the
future, that is, to the year 2037, and had spent an entire day watching
Indian news channels and reading Indian newspapers. As the members of
the audience shook their heads in disbelief, he narrated what all had
captivated the Indian print and electronic media in 2037. His narration
seemed credible and quite plausible. This is what the scientist had to
say about his peek into 2037.
“Sachin Tendulkar had just scored his 200th international century. He confessed that the 200th century was definitely the toughest. He apologised to people for the long wait of more than two years from the 199th to 200th century. He dismissed reports of his retirement and said he would continue to play the game as long as he enjoyed it. He added that the thought of retirement never crossed his mind, not even when his son retired from international cricket four years ago.
“Mr Rahul Gandhi was involved in building the Youth Congress. He accepted responsibility for the dismal showing of the Congress in the recently concluded 2037 UP Assembly elections in which the party managed a paltry seven seats. Congress leaders backed Mr Rahul Gandhi saying that he was in UP for the long haul. TV channels were speculating that he might be a strong contender for the PM’s post in the 2039 general elections. Mr Rahul Gandhi’s wife Sania (born Mantonia Aino in Portugal) was the chairperson of the ruling coalition. She had been consistently ranked among the most influential people on earth, even ahead of the Indian PM, by several independent observers. Interestingly, Sania Gandhi did not own a car or a house and was dependent on others for the next meal, according to the latest affidavit filed by her.
“LK Advani was 109 years old and healthier than most Indians. He was confident that he would be the Prime Minister one day. Addressing a rally during a Rath Yatra, he said building a grand Ram Mandir at Ayodhya was his dream. Mr M Karunanidhi, 113 years old, had just bought a sprawling bungalow in Aurangzeb Road in the Capital as he was finding it difficult to shuttle between Chennai and New Delhi. He found it easy making frequent trips to Tihar Jail ~ where many of his close associates were lodged ~ from his new residence. His trusted confidant and former telecom minister Mr B Kaja was in Tihar Jail for his alleged involvement in the 6G scam. Apparently, the comptroller and auditor-general of India had estimated the loss caused to the exchequer because of this scam to be greater than the Indian GDP. Mr Kapil Sibal rubbished this estimate claiming that it was only a notional loss. He also astutely asserted that there was actually zero loss.
“West Bengal chief minister Mamata Banerjee had recently sacked the Union railway minister for the seventeenth time in 25 years. The latest victim, Mr Ganesh Chaturvedi, was stripped of his ministerial berth for increasing passenger fares that had remained unchanged for the past 34 years. The railways was in financial ruin, unable to pay salaries to its employees, resulting in frequent staff strikes. This, the experts on TV declared, reminded them of Air India in 2012.
“There were 9.5 crore cases pending in courts. To cope with the situation, Parliament had passed a special law authorising Arnab Goswami to take up one case each day on his Newshour debate and pronounce verdict at the end of the show. His verdict would be binding and have judicial validity. General VK Song’s love letter to his wife had been leaked to the media even before he had written it. Dar Ka Butt was debating the question on NDTV: ‘Are we as a nation becoming too romantic?’
”Rajini Kanth’s magnum opus was to hit screens across the world. The film made at a whopping Rs 1,500 crore was the costliest Indian film ever made. Aaradhya Bachchan was playing the female lead opposite Rajini Kanth.
“Digvijay Singh was a senile old man. His mental condition had worsened. He refused to eat with his right hand because he suspected it to be an RSS hand.
“Parliament had recently passed a law encouraging corruption among politicians and had included the same in the Ninth Schedule of the Constitution hoping to avoid judicial scrutiny. Team Anna intended to go on an indefinite fast at Ramlila Maidan starting 2 October insisting that Parliament pass at least some, any, Lokpal Bill if not the Jan Lokpal Bill. Planning Commission had stipulated that anyone earning Rs 3 per day in urban areas and Rs 5 per day in rural areas was not poor.
“Congress MPs from Telangana staged a walkout from Parliament to press their demands for the formation of a separate state of Telangana. After Srikrishna committee, Sri Rama committee, Venkata Krishna committee, Hare Rama committee and Hare Krishna committee, another committee had been constituted for making recommendations on the issue.
“The external affairs minister expressed confidence that a solution to the Kashmir issue was possible through dialogue and hoped that all issues would be settled amicably.
“Miss Mayawati had just declared assets worth Rs 7,700 crore while filing her nomination for the Rajya Sabha. The recently passed 145th Constitutional amendment made it mandatory for a person to have a criminal record before contesting Lok Sabha, Rajya Sabha or Assembly elections.”
A veteran journalist present at the news conference remarked: “He is not lying. Whatever he has said seems perfectly reasonable and believable”.
“Sachin Tendulkar had just scored his 200th international century. He confessed that the 200th century was definitely the toughest. He apologised to people for the long wait of more than two years from the 199th to 200th century. He dismissed reports of his retirement and said he would continue to play the game as long as he enjoyed it. He added that the thought of retirement never crossed his mind, not even when his son retired from international cricket four years ago.
“Mr Rahul Gandhi was involved in building the Youth Congress. He accepted responsibility for the dismal showing of the Congress in the recently concluded 2037 UP Assembly elections in which the party managed a paltry seven seats. Congress leaders backed Mr Rahul Gandhi saying that he was in UP for the long haul. TV channels were speculating that he might be a strong contender for the PM’s post in the 2039 general elections. Mr Rahul Gandhi’s wife Sania (born Mantonia Aino in Portugal) was the chairperson of the ruling coalition. She had been consistently ranked among the most influential people on earth, even ahead of the Indian PM, by several independent observers. Interestingly, Sania Gandhi did not own a car or a house and was dependent on others for the next meal, according to the latest affidavit filed by her.
“LK Advani was 109 years old and healthier than most Indians. He was confident that he would be the Prime Minister one day. Addressing a rally during a Rath Yatra, he said building a grand Ram Mandir at Ayodhya was his dream. Mr M Karunanidhi, 113 years old, had just bought a sprawling bungalow in Aurangzeb Road in the Capital as he was finding it difficult to shuttle between Chennai and New Delhi. He found it easy making frequent trips to Tihar Jail ~ where many of his close associates were lodged ~ from his new residence. His trusted confidant and former telecom minister Mr B Kaja was in Tihar Jail for his alleged involvement in the 6G scam. Apparently, the comptroller and auditor-general of India had estimated the loss caused to the exchequer because of this scam to be greater than the Indian GDP. Mr Kapil Sibal rubbished this estimate claiming that it was only a notional loss. He also astutely asserted that there was actually zero loss.
“West Bengal chief minister Mamata Banerjee had recently sacked the Union railway minister for the seventeenth time in 25 years. The latest victim, Mr Ganesh Chaturvedi, was stripped of his ministerial berth for increasing passenger fares that had remained unchanged for the past 34 years. The railways was in financial ruin, unable to pay salaries to its employees, resulting in frequent staff strikes. This, the experts on TV declared, reminded them of Air India in 2012.
“There were 9.5 crore cases pending in courts. To cope with the situation, Parliament had passed a special law authorising Arnab Goswami to take up one case each day on his Newshour debate and pronounce verdict at the end of the show. His verdict would be binding and have judicial validity. General VK Song’s love letter to his wife had been leaked to the media even before he had written it. Dar Ka Butt was debating the question on NDTV: ‘Are we as a nation becoming too romantic?’
”Rajini Kanth’s magnum opus was to hit screens across the world. The film made at a whopping Rs 1,500 crore was the costliest Indian film ever made. Aaradhya Bachchan was playing the female lead opposite Rajini Kanth.
“Digvijay Singh was a senile old man. His mental condition had worsened. He refused to eat with his right hand because he suspected it to be an RSS hand.
“Parliament had recently passed a law encouraging corruption among politicians and had included the same in the Ninth Schedule of the Constitution hoping to avoid judicial scrutiny. Team Anna intended to go on an indefinite fast at Ramlila Maidan starting 2 October insisting that Parliament pass at least some, any, Lokpal Bill if not the Jan Lokpal Bill. Planning Commission had stipulated that anyone earning Rs 3 per day in urban areas and Rs 5 per day in rural areas was not poor.
“Congress MPs from Telangana staged a walkout from Parliament to press their demands for the formation of a separate state of Telangana. After Srikrishna committee, Sri Rama committee, Venkata Krishna committee, Hare Rama committee and Hare Krishna committee, another committee had been constituted for making recommendations on the issue.
“The external affairs minister expressed confidence that a solution to the Kashmir issue was possible through dialogue and hoped that all issues would be settled amicably.
“Miss Mayawati had just declared assets worth Rs 7,700 crore while filing her nomination for the Rajya Sabha. The recently passed 145th Constitutional amendment made it mandatory for a person to have a criminal record before contesting Lok Sabha, Rajya Sabha or Assembly elections.”
A veteran journalist present at the news conference remarked: “He is not lying. Whatever he has said seems perfectly reasonable and believable”.
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