The Padma awards were announced recently and 109 people from different walks of life such as art, social work, public affairs, science and engineering, trade and industry, medicine, literature and education, sports and the civil services were chosen for the prestigious recognition. However, many people were surprised by the decision of the government to not name anyone for the country’s highest civilian honour, Bharat Ratna.
Jest Kidding has learnt that the Prime Minister did indeed recommend names for the Bharat Ratna. Apparently, the A4 sheet that contained the names of the Bharat Ratna winners was lost in transit between the Prime Minister’s Office (PMO) and Rashtrapati Bhavan. An official in the PMO who wished not to be named (by his parents) confirmed this: “Yes, there were five pages ~ one each for Bharat Ratna, Padma Vibhushan and Padma Bhushan and two pages for Padma Shri. Unfortunately, there was no stapler pin in the PMO at that time and the list had to be sent urgently. So we sent them as loose sheets. We will set up a committee soon. This committee will select the members of the committee that will conduct a thorough investigation to unearth the people responsible for this lapse.”
We prodded the official further to know more about the people in the Bharat Ratna list. We were told that this year there was a major departure from the conventional way of awarding the Bharat Ratna. Taking a cue from Time magazine, that occasionally strays from its usual policy of awarding the “Person of the year” to individuals (Time person of the year for 2011 was The Protester and for 2006 was You), the Bharat Ratna has been given to people who are not well known in any particular field. “All the Bharat Ratna awardees this year were to have been common men,” said the PMO official.
We have learnt that one of the names on the missing list was that of Mr Aam Lal. He had been recommended for the Bharat Ratna for managing the unthinkable, surmounting the insurmountable, conquering the unconquerable, achieving the impossible. He managed the unimaginable, incredibly challenging feat of booking a sleeper class Tatkal weekend train ticket between Chennai and Bangalore, that too at 8.02 a.m. According to Indian Railways, no one has ever managed to book an Online Tatkal ticket between Chennai and Bangalore on a weekend and the time ~ 8.02 a.m, just two minutes after bookings open ~ makes it all the more impressive. “Truly a well deserved honour,” said Mr Kunal Kumar Roy, the general manager of Southern Railway. Mr Aam Lal’s name had already been recommended twice before ~ once for the Padma Bhushan for booking an Online Tatkal ticket at 8.40 a.m. and once again for the Padma Vibhushan for booking a Tatkal ticket Online at 8.20 a.m, both on weekdays. But Mr Aam Lal could not make it to the final list on both occasions. Amitabh Bachhan tweeted: “Impressive. Such stories about normal men from different parts of India greatly inspire me. Hope to book a Taatkal ticket someday!”
The other names on the missing Bharat Ratna list were as unique as Mr Aam Lal’s. Mr Aaman Singh was picked for restraining his urge to slap a snoring co-passenger during a bus journey in the night; Mr Aameshwar Thakur was chosen for washing his mobile phone with hot water and detergent because the screen had become grimy, and Mr Aamachandra Guha for stopping himself from biting the passenger sitting next to him on a flight, despite a strong urge to do so, in order to vent his frustration with a baby that constantly kept squealing and weeping through the two-hour journey.
Press Council of India chairman Mr Justice Markandey Katju said: “Good. As I said earlier, conferring the Bharat Ratna on sportspersons would have been a mockery of the award. What better examples of ‘performance of highest order in any field of human endeavour’ ~ patience, perseverance, stupidity.”
Perhaps it would not be out of place to revisit what former President Dr APJ Abdul Kalam once said about the awards: “If Tusshar Kapoor can become an actor, if Himesh Reshammiya can become a singer, if Abhishek Bachhan can marry Aishwarya Rai, anyone can achieve anything. Nothing is impossible. Keep dreaming!”
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